Sunday, September 13, 2009

It's That Time Again: VMA's 2009 Wrap Up

Hey Kids!!!! Happy Monday again!! It's official: if you missed this year's VMA's, you missed the biggest spectacle of the summer/fall. Let's take it from the top... cause you KNOW it don't stop... the dramz that is... of the MTV VMA's. It's a looong wrap up!!! :)

-So, during the red carpet, there was an abundance of British hosts, apparently MTV/Viacom is no longer making secret that the U.K has ownership. The hosts and Sway (SMH) stumbled and shuffled around for an hour trying to keep a tab on the "stars" arrivals until the show started. The producers choose to focus on the various and ridiculous modes of transportation used, from Fire trucks to Double Decker Busses. Did anyone care?? ANYONE?! We were thisclose to bored to death. There was a small glimmer of hillarity when Shakira (hawt) was first on the red carpet rocking the Cavalli minidress w. over-the-knee boots... and 10 min. later Pink scuttles off her Fire Truck (SMH) to be interviewed... IN THE SAME DRESS!!!!!! I would've fired my stylist as SOON as that interview ended!!!! MTV added this new segment where they-get this- monitor "tweets" on "Twitter" GETTHEFUCCOUTTAHERE?!?! SERIOUSLY?! I mean SERIOUSLY. That annoying broad with her constant updates was one of the worst. segments. EVER. SOo unnecessary and note to MTV- LEAVE people on Twitter alone. No need to monitor ANYTHING. THAT's the point, Twitter monitors itself. AND the focus should have been on live performances and ARTISTS!?! Take a cue from BET... sheeeesh!!!!

-So the world waited on baited breath to see how MTV would pay tribute to the KING- MICHAEL JACKSON. It was almost worth it... almost. The show opened with her Majesty, MADONNA, single spotlight and mic as she spoke ever-so-eloquently about the KING and his legacy... it was excellent. Then, the tribute continued with a medley of Mike's most infamous videos, Thriller, BAD, and Smooth Criminal, done by his "THIS IS IT" Dancers. FLAWLESS. JUST FLAWLESS. UNtil... the ending smooth Criminal lean; one of the dancer's magnetic pull didn't work so he just bowed instead of the sick @$$, infamous lean. TRAGIC. Surely his career is ruined. The dancers made way for the otherworldly performance of Michael and Janet- performing SCREAM!!!!!!!!!! (A moment to SWOOON) Janet looked sooo gorgeous and professional when performing with her brother on a juxtaposed screen- although a tad rusty during the dance break (Don't ackt like y'all didn't see Queen Janet flub a bit). The set ended w. a bevy of top flight dancers, including Chris Judd, Laurie Ann (Boom Boom Kat) Wilson, and 2 of Janet's old choreographers (Famous faces from her tour). It brought tears to the eye, and Janet proved she still has what it takes to carry on Michale's legacy. GREAT JOB!!!!!!!!
This classic moment, however, was upstaged once Taylor Swift accepted the award for Best Female Video. Lil' 19-year old Taylor, in her over-sequined- goddess gown and stilettos, serenely takes the mike and begins to thank everyone for supporting lil' ol' she when.... VILLAIN OF THE NIGHT- KANYE says, "excuse me"- and Taylor passes him the mic. PAUSE. (For most know what happens next) WTF did Taylor give it to KANYE?!?! DURING HER MOMENT?!?! If I can rewind, Ye was photographed allllllll nite with a 5th of Hennesy (still in its original bottle, carried inside the show) and his too-hot-for-the-lens beard, Amber Rose. (Amber SLAYED em last night- only she could pull of a catsuit/80's theme that tight and confident). In Taylor's category for the win, she was up against Brittney Spears, Lady GAGA and Beyonce, respectively. Beyonce, who has awwwwwready won every award known to man and beast, and has the star power of a phoenix. Beyonce, who is SYNONYMOUS with MTV-hell music in general. So when Kanye debos the Mike, and screams, "BEYONCE HAD THE BEST VIDEO OF ALL TIME!!! I'M SAYIN!!!!" All. hell. broke. loose. Not only did this passionate man violate all personal space/ stage policies of the event, he completely ruined Taylor's moment with his inappropriate timing and rude remark. Everyone began to immediately boo, and lil Taylor stunned... exits stage left. Mouths were agape for at least 5 min.

In Ye's defense, he was passionate about the star power and justifiable truth that his friend had the better video of the year. No one should argue that truth. (Yea, I said it) Kanye spoke the truth-Taylor's aiiight and all, but she's an amateur compared to the iconic status of "Single Ladies" and the performer that is Beyonce. (I saw her professional performance of the nominated song afterward. Underwhelmed indeed). But, it's not what you say sometimes, it's WHERE, WHEN and HOW you say it. A lesson Kanye should have learned 3 outbursts ago?!?! WHERE is his medication Lawd?! Seriously. I think he's a touched genius that either was too medicated and then mixed w. that HennDawg (you know Pookie en 'nem + 5th of Hennesy= guaranteed Frankie and Neffie outburst) or at this point should seek medical attention for his disorder ASAP. No bullox.

The tone of the show was obviously negatively tainted after that, so you can imagine my astonishment when they brought Leighton Miester and some Adult Swim character out to pray to the devil. WTJOEJACKSONHELL?!?! If that sick foolish act wasn't enough, Lady Gaga performed. While she has the vocal skill like no other, her set was a bit tooo morbid and disturbing for my taste, especially on the eve of all that happened?! Gaga was stabbed, bled and then hoisted up like a dead caucus at the end of her performance. (Shudder). We all wanted to pray amidst these Pagen (devil) acts on MTV. GaGa ALSO made a point of changing costumes--a whopping 3 times during the show... she. looked. a. spectacle. Gotta respect anyone that thanks, "God, and the GAYS" though...

~The rest of the show was rather un-notable with the exception of the following:
*P!nk (yea) did an impressive rendition of "Sober" while swinging gracefully from a trapeeze.
*T.I. did win for best rap video, and Diddy did an excellent job on accepting on Tip's behalf (ATL STAND UP!!!!!!).
*Every time Kanye's name was mentioned, the audience booed (he was nominated several times)
*Serena Williams (ERR? Shouldn't she be somewhere in shame??) presented an award amongst boos and tried to "joke" about "Staying in the lines"- no sale.
*Beyonce did the ALL-TIME Mega-Mix of "Single Ladies" and reminded the WORLD why she will remain on top. The Queen. She shut it DOOOOOOWN. (One of the few reasons I continued to watch)
*Jay-Z arrived to close the show amidst an entourage of Maybachs, Escallades, and security. MTV cameras followed his caravan through the city, did the Dave Chapell-skit-following Jay into the arena/stage (Ya'll remember that skit!!!!) and then proceeded to ROCK THE MIKE w. A. KEYS performing "Empire State of Mind". MY new fav. Song. I have a GIRL crush on A. Keys, who STUNNED in the sequined legging, 6-inch stacked stiletto, and metal gray tunic. SHE looked flawwwwless and sang her @$$$$$$ off!!!! They arguably had one of the best performances of the night. Then, just when you thought it could get NO WORSE....
FRANKIE HOPS ON THE STAGE?!?!?! I'm Sorry. Lil' MAMA!!!!!!!!! (Swear though-ask GA ME, I screamed, "Is that FRANKIE" upon instant sighting) Lil' Mama looked as HOT @$$ mess, debo-ing the stage to dance around then do the fake-thug pose at the end of Jigga's SET?!?! WHERE the HELLS was MTV's SECURITY LAST NIGHT!!!! OMJeeeezy?! They let just ANYONE bum rush the daum stage?!?! Tragic. I think Lil' Mama and Kanye were sippin' on the same and both forgot prescription refills. Careers forever stained.
*Beyonce (who looked great in the red mini dress w. pockets) won for Best Video of the Year (The award she claims she really wanted) and used her speech to graciously allow Taylor her moment. It was sooo professional and warranted, I have a new respect for Beyonce (Yea, I said it). Taylor finally said her lil' thank-yous, but was I the only one displeased about her lack of public "thank you" to Queen B for sharing her moment??? Just sayin....

MTV did the most this year, and what should have been the ultimate tribute to MJ was almost out shined by the foolish antics throughout the show. Kanye did issue an apology via the web. Now, getting ready for BET hip-hop awards. ON TO THE NEXT ONE!!!!! LOL. Let me know what you thought of the show...
and stay reading for my fashion breakdown. You KNOW that's coming. Have a great one... and Lady GaGa is the new Marilyn Manson... seriously.



1 comment:

  1. OMG I think I stopped at the point where you gave Beyonce props...WTF is up with that lol! Anyway Ye is a damn fool for what he did, and what I did see of the show (clicking back and fourth between the sorry azz Bears game) was pretty lame. The highlight for me of course being Jay closing out the show with Ms. Keys...Empire State of Mind! Janet was fab and you pretty much said it all. Great post!