It's that time again, when everyone in Black America huddles around their flat screen, Internet, and Twitter accounts to discuss the performances, hits and misses of BET's Annual Coon Awards! This year, Twitter maven @Freshalina dubbed the event the #EBTAwards. So, per usual I've wrapped up the may-jah highlights in my annual wrap-up!
Kanye West's Show Opener- Kanyizzle opened with his new single "Power", and rapped the whole set atop a mountain with a staff, 80's chain ( 10 times the opulence & size) around his neck, and a moving background. A DOPE throwback to real MCing, I was thrilled Ye silenced all haters!
Queen Latifah Failing As Host-*Deep Sigh* Now, Queen may be talented in acting and singing (no comment, as I remain underwhelmed) but hosting is not her forte. Viewers had to suffer through her awkward readings of the teleprompter, a musical opening that lasted way too long, and too many irrelevant/incoherent costume changes throughout the night, I really wanted to scream, "LA! Sit your ARSE DOWN!!"
Diddy's Dirty Money Crew- A surprisingly energizing performance!!! That is, if you could see anything through the excessive smoke... *cough* Yea. Ya boi Diddy went too far demanding smoke and pyrotechnics, so the audience had audio & thick fog for half the performance. Ricky Rawse, draped in all 50 chains owned in life, a too small Hanes that showcased his breasts, and of course a large jacket, lip-synced his verse on the remix. Nikki Minaj came out in a vinyl cat suit and lip-synched her verse (lookin like one of the daum Incredibles). Seemed like Bad Boy circa 1994 was onstage for a min.with all the dancers and the Dirty Money Trannies looking like Total 2.0. Well done Diddy! Held my attention...
Chris "BeatHerDown" Brown's Michael Jackson Tribute- With an intro from Jermaine "Crazy Hair" Jackson that omitted Chris' name ("Here "HE" is...") Breezy shut EVERYONE UP with one set!!!! His dancing-flawless, song selctions-perfect, and when he closed with "Man In The Mirror", he was so overcome with emotion that he had a breakdown. In front. of MILLIONS!!! GENIUS!!!! Now staged or otherwise, it was BRILLIANT PR that solidified who the most talented is right now, and inspite of personal feelings... it's BREEZY!!! I'm no longer a cynic, and am on the bandwagon that is C.Breezy's comeback. Surely his career is on FI-YAH this morning. Oh, and I predict this is the last year of Trey Songz' mediocre run as Breezy will eclipse Trey's crossover attempt. Yea. I said it.
The Prince Tribute- Um... well, it was for Prince! Janelle Monet opened the set with "Let's Go Crazy" and it was CLASSIC Janelle mixed w. James Brown!!! She danced wildly all over the stage, pompadour-a-flying, screeched her heart out and almost split her lil' tuxedo pants!! LOVED it! Jazz singer Esporanza Spaulding followed, singing, "If I Was Your Girlfriend", but she and her standing bass about put me to sleep. Surely she's better in different venues, but honeychile this was NOT your night. Sowwy. A Keys, dirtying the name of pregnant women everywhere, had the nerve to play "Adore" on the Baby Grand barefoot, then writhe her big @$$ on top of the piano to further gyrate?! Even PRINCE gave her the, "Bish, if your water breaks on MY account," look that should've slowed her down. Oh no. She kept slanging her hair and pumping her belly. She lost all my respect last night. Patti Patti closed the set kicking off her Loubitons (Prince caught one) taking everyone home with "Purple Rain." Prince accepted his award clad in a tunic with his face painted in Crayola watercolors (whatthehellman?!), white bell bottoms, and 5-inch white boots. He's still the most beautiful being in the whole theatre. He did not perform, which was the crushing letdown of the night. I assume he's too good for EBT, and I honestly can't blame him...
John Legend's Humanitarian Speech- Most may have overlooked, but Legend, in spite of his elusive hairline, gave one of the most impactful speeches. Ever. Essentially, he said Black celebrities aren't' doing nearly enough in the US or abroad,and that we all should focus on education reform and empowering our communities. I'm looking for the full transcript to post, but it was BEASTLY. TRUST. KU-DOS John!!! (See someone about that hairline please sir, thanks!)
*Ursher's "There Goes My Baby" -smooth yet he had trouble hitting his falsetto
*T.I.'s "Takers" (Motion picture theme song) amped comeback performance featuring Travis Barker on drums. His first time back and the crowd went crazy.
*Drizzle's "Over" featuring a surprise appearance from Jeezy to remix to "Loose My Mind." A great performance that was articulate and fresh! Both artists looked clean in their too-tight jackets.
*BOB rapped "Airplanes" featuring Keyshia Cole- screeching the hook clad in a blond, arse-length mullet.
*El Debarge (MY FAVORITE) *SWOON*- Randomly appeared behind a piano and slayed the house w. a medley of some of his memorable hits. He sounded. The. Exact. Same. DAUM.
* Kirk Franklin's "Haiti Song"- included gospel greats like Karen Sheard and Yolanda "Christian Home wrecker" Adams. Nice job!
*A Keys' solo Performance (and double win) where she sounded great but looked a pregnant fool. I refuse to endorse her rubbing her belly, gyrating across the stage in an attempt to look "sexx-sy". Save it for Swizz, cause aintnobodywannaseethatish. Tacky. In. The. Least.
*Trey Songz "Your Side Of the Bed/ Purple Rain" ERR?? Worst performance of the night. Hands down. Trey sounded like a nervous goat, wasn't entertaining simply standing onstage, and once he tried Purple Rain, Prince shot him the deathly *Side eye* verifying he was stinkin up the stage.
*DJ Khaled "All I Do Is Win"- Closed the night with Busta (overweight & happy to be seen), Ludacris (with violinists & a phantom mask), Diddy (of course), Rawse (One more time for ALL his jewels), and a chunky yet energetic T-Pain. Oh, and Tommy Lee was on drums adding to the spectacle.
***A Full Link to ALL PERFORMANCES (NecoleBitchie.com) ***
*Trey Songz' Mama-proving Black don't crack, looking like a 25 year old stealing all the buzz from other red carpet heaux, and almost having a "Janet" wardrobe malfunction when onstage w. Trey.
*Beyaki & GAGA not showing to accept their award for video of the year-*yawn* Clearly they're TOO international for the #EBTAwards.
*Rocsi- Just when I thought she could look no worse or smuttier... she trumped my hand last night. There are no words.
*Queen Latifah's homosexual references-From dressing as "Cleo" during the AKward T.I. sketch (anyone catch how TIP mispronounced her name?!) to the random rap where I swear she alluded to her being gay... I swear La was trying to tell us something.
*WHY did they place J Cole to play before the commercials?!?! That brotha was ROBBED!!!! Too fine and talented for BET to play him. ugh.
*Nikki Manaj's fashion choices & Firefox wig. *Fingers to temple* I can't.
*#WHATTHEJOEJACKSONHELL did Deborah Lee have ON?!?! EVERY YEAR this broad embarrasses a PEOPLE with her RIDICULOUS fashion choices?!? She has no friends, no stylists, and everyone must hate her as witnessed in her appearance. I can't.
This year's show was chalk-full of decent performances , so much so that I can barely remember who won what (it matters not). Bottom line: several stars had GREAT comeback performances, Chris Brown is BACK, and BET did not totally shame us! In fact, minus a few suspect performances and poor selection of hosts (I won't even START on how embarrassingly drunk everyone appeared at the "After Party"), I'd rate this show a 7.5 out of 10. I'd watch pieces again, and was glad I tuned in last night. Hell, I tune in every year just to critique the debauchery that's the EBT oops! BET Awards.