BLACK WOMEN:SLIM THUG WANTS YOU TO KNOW...!!!!!!!! (I cant.)

   In what I would deem poor judgement on the creative and editing floor followed by lazy and underwhelming journalism, Vibe.com started a mini wildfire when they posted this "article" by Houston rapper Slim Thug.  Several disturbing factors passed off as Slim's opinion throughout the write-up made me pause. I was so ticked... I decided to blog about it. *Fingers to the temple & deeeep sigh*

1. WHEN did SLIM THUGG become a relationship expert credible to critique Black relationships?!
#WhattheJoeJacksonhell?!?! His most publicized relationship was with (ex-Destiny's Child member/ Beyaki nemesis) Letoya Luckett, and that allegedly ended because he cheated and procreated with his cousin. He has never been married, is not on-record as having any said degree in psychology or human behavior... I don't even think he's had a relevant hit single since 2005. So, I'm lost as to why he was even chosen as the latest gimp in the "BW Need To Do Better, Aim Lower To Get A Man v. 2010" debate.
2. Discussing all Black women in such general negative terms is a clear sign of self hatred. Seriously. Slim, your mother, sister, cousins, hell, even one of your baby's mother's is a Black woman. The rest of the world often struggles to decipher differences amongst Brown women as the media tends to lump us together. Slim describing Black women as gold-diggers with high standards that fail to silently submit to idiot demands of rappers (named "Slim Thug" that still rock cornrows past the age of 35 even in 2010?!?) in no circle would pass as an accurate depiction of US. *Pause* Apologies, "SimThugga" was not nearly that eloquent when attempting to describe his opinion. His chosen buffoonery:
  "It’s hard to trust a Black woman [sometimes] because a lot of Black women’s mind frame is that the man gotta do everything for her⎯ he gotta pay for this, he gotta pay for that, and if it ain’t about money then a lot of them ain’t fucking with him. If that’s what you’re here for then I don’t want to be with you."

3. Yet another Black man (or anyone for that matter) insists on telling Black women our standards are too high.
   "Most single Black women feel like they don’t want to settle for less. Their standards are too high right now. They have to understand that successful Black men are kind of extinct. We’re important. It’s hard to find us so Black women have to bow down and let it be known that they gotta start working hard; they gotta start cooking and being down for they man more."
Excuse me sir. WHY would you advise any woman, much less the strong BLACK WOMAN to settle for less?!?! It is this lazy mentality that really enraged me for clearly he does not recognize the daily struggles, accomplishments, achievements and even tribulations that comprise life- nor any reverence for the graceful way we excel at every. Aspect. Of. Life. We raise the babies in the single parent homes, educate the community as public school systems are on the decline, obtain multiple degrees and thrive in our respective careers, all in a society that has devalued while benefiting from our feminine power for centuries. The Black woman is the most "down", and it often is to our detriment as many Black men aren't mature enough to reciprocate on spiritual, emotional, and financial levels. Marinate on that for a min.
4. Slim had the audacity to compare Black women with "others" namely, white women as he prefers their docile nature over our hard-work (in his opinion). "White women treat they man like a king and Black women feel like they ain’t gotta do that shit. Black women need to stand by their man more. Don’t always put the pressure of if I’m fucking with you, you gotta buy me this and that."
*le sigh*. Really Slim?? Really?? If that is your limited and emasculating experience with white women, that actually sheds a crack of light. No real man would want a woman who was not equally yoked as it would eclipse the totality of what he could become! If you hate on the progressive Black woman, you're hindering yourself. *Message!*
    His ignorance is reverbed by young men with limited thinking and that is the real impact hence root of frustration. As Vibe.com lent Slim this opportunity, impressionable people can take from it and attempt to validate their ridiculous opinions with this piss poor article. I am more than comfortable with the fact that I, nor any woman I hope to ever call sistah (no matter her race) would NOT be the woman fit for Slimm Thug.  I hope he finds this senseless concubine with no self-worth as he described he desired. That way, he could sit his arse down, remain irrelevant and prayerfully, *Smokey from Friday voice* never. Ever ever ever. Ever ever EVER consent to an interview about Black woman for the rest of his life. Now... will all my REAL men, please stand up??


Peace,
 
Dawnavette

HEAUX-DOM DOES NOT EQUATE TO VIOLENT ATTACKS

 KAT STACKS CAN'T CATCH A BREAK-"Kat Stacks" was videotaped last week getting punched in the face and ridiculed by two-men at a lounge off Peters St. in Atlanta, GA.  I really wasn't going to comment on the foolery. But with all the Twitter commentary (still), and her resurfacing the other night (June 1-FreddyO.com) in AtL, I just couldn't resist. Allegedly folks in Atlanta have issue with her walking the street, buying drinks, and well, living. So, for those Amish folk that may have missed it, a quick background of what happened.
        *Kat Stacks is an under-21 year old female who is known for having sex with several C/D-list rappers, then creating an illiterate blog and disturbing viral video where she "exposes" her trysts to whomever can stomach her entire bootleged "Heaux Confessions." When she first appeared I was intrigued if only for a second, because I have a deep affinity for women of color who perpetuate all modern aspects of the "Jezebel" script-one of four (4) traditional media images relegated to depict Black females since chattel slavery. Modern aspects and examples vary from stripping, and prostitution to the "hottest" female rapper and video chicks. However...Superhead...Kat. is. not.

      The basic elements of last week's attack are simple. Two men approached Kat Stacks while seated and minding her business at the bar. One man is video recording the entire process, they both call her to turn around, and the other sucker punches her in the face. Once Kat hits the floor, another mush to the face is given while they further taunt and disrespect her. The most memorable and incriminating line now repeated across the 'Net is, "Say sorry! Say Sorry to Shad! Say 'SORRY BOW WOW!'"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WHATTHEJOEJACKSONHEL?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
       Kat Stacks is a female-no matter her moral character, sexual history, partners, often questionable appearance or limited vocabulary. She is a WOMAN. Her attackers in the video were men, well, immature boys, weigh more and have penises. Hitting females is wrong. That is how it will always be judged in my book because men have a physical advantage and were designed to protect. Period. A real man walks away, takes the high road, files a lawsuit or Son's you (you know, the verbal smack down only a strong man can give that makes you think, "well daum! Yessir!"). The display in the video is appalling. The men (or at least one) must have been really close with Shad because tracking down a female (an admitted Heaux for that matter) in public to administer a "smack-down" based on what she said about your "man" BowWow is borderline crime of passion/ homoerotic territory. Seriously. I don't know any of my strait male friends that would care that much about a woman's sexcapades with their friend to entertain bar-smacking fcukery.
          Since the tapes release last week, I have yet to hear about any charges being brought against the two attackers, but I have seen horrible jokes about Kat deserving what she got, or listened to other women tear Kat down worse than the men. Which perplexes me as it speaks to a larger issue of giving sympathy passes and paying more attention when domestic violence happens to pop culture's beautiful "Virginal" or "good"sexual scripts but could care less when the "Jezebel" or females with "bad" sexual imaging are abused. A decent example would be how the public rallied around Princess RiRi during her attack (granted, Chris beat-her-down went HAM and was convicted) but Kat Stacks' attack was filmed in public and not a naan onlooker cried out in protest, ran to assist the woman or ridiculed the men for their ridiculous behavior. That is not right to me. At all. The only reason every one's is upset with Kat that I can validate is that she choose to be promiscuous then spoke her truth on that tacky viral video. (Still not sure about this daum Kat Stacks Confessional. Kid Fury broke. It. Down.) It's clear that Kat Stacks needs serious professional help, and to publicly beat on her seems cruel and inhumane. Even taunting her when she returned to Atlanta this week is too immature for further commentary. What do you think? Consider if the female involved wasn't an attention seeker, but just a highly sexual female with a big mouth. Like a young high school student. Still think this behavior is hilarious??? I think if you stopped laughing to consider the ramifications, that maybe the next time some young women you know could be the next victim of such barbaric, cowardly, bitch-arse behavior, jokes would stop, and charges would be pressed.

Peace,

Dawnavette

Sex And The City: A LIFESTYLE!! Why I'm Hopelessly Devoted

                                      Charlotte, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda *Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. / LA Times 

It's the weekend when women everywhere storm movie theatres to catch the much anticipated SEX AND THE CITY 2!!!!!! I decided to list why I'm so devoted, as well as further encourage you to see the film of the summer.

WHY I ADORE SATC-
      My love for the show began during season one, when an immediate connection was formed. I was a 17 year-old Junior in High School living in lil' ol' Chester, VA and probably the farthest example from  the show's main character, Carrie Bradshaw. Carrie Bradshaw. The writer in Manhattan, NY living the fashionable, chic, fast-paced, date-filled, sexually-charged life whilst in her 30's. Soon after my affair began, I got my Ma, friends, and sistah/family members hooked weekly to HBO, living vicariously through the ever-fabulous Carrie and her four amazing friends.
      It wasn't just the excellent writing- a feat that has yet to be duplicated on any television sitcom for that matter IMO- witty and powerful, forcing me to quote dialogue from ALL episodes recorded. It wasn't just the fashion- the first of its kind to delve completely into the worlds of couture, urban fashion, and affordable retail, making designers household names and blending all fashion and style elements effortlessly. Such was the genius of Patricia Field, who excelled at her job so (costume designer/creative muse) the fashion was considered he 6th cast member! It wasn't just the fact that every episode, movie, book and aspect of the brand spoke to the valued importance of sisterhood and maintaining friendships in spite of life's obstacles. A recurring theme in  popular culture, the strong message in the 80's during the "Golden Girls" era of television sitcoms was perfected during the 2000's by "Sex And The City."
       Women around the world no matter their color or cultural difference can relate to this major theme as errrrrrryone has life and male issues but if you are truly blessed have a girlfriend or two you can share triumphs, tragedy, gain support from and be supportive of. No, I don't think that it is any one of these four major points but the myriad of them all each having more relevance at whatever stage of my life or crazy experience I deal with in my twenty-sexxxy reality. Throughout Undergrad, popping in SATC DVDs and bonding with my girls on Sunday nights, strengthened some of the best friendships I still maintain to this day. When irritated by a man (how often does THAT happen) I can pop in my SATC and the ladies' experiences make me die with laughter at the similarities, parallels and even unimaginable comedy that is dating.
BEAT THE MASSES TO THE PUNCH-
      I was fortunate to catch a Tuesday evening screening of the film at Phipps Plaza, as well as a Wednesday night screening at Atlantic Station. That's right. I've already seen it twice (gloat!)! Tuesday night was jammed packed, but well worth the wait as I enjoyed every second! Wednesday was especially cute as it was hosted by Necole Bitchie and Kenny Burns, not especially crowded and had the ever-present  ATL  photo opt. Atlanta celebrities including Project Runway's Michael Knight, RHOAtlanta's/ Purple Door Salon's Dwight, and The GlamBar Salon ladies were in the house.

WHY I ADORED THE MOVIE *NO SPOILER*

     In the first film, the four year lapse since the ladies left HBO, the outtacontrol fashion, and Carrie & Big starting their "happily ever after,"were basic yet major points that made for a fluffy, feel-good run. If you swooned over the 1st, you will DIE as the sequel excellently revisits aspects of Carrie's past while exploring the honest complexities of being "newly married." Hell. Married period. Critics of the first film will truly appreciate the second for the realistic ending, better cinematography, and the blatant maturity of all four characters. There was backlash this week against SATC2 for the portrayal of Arabic culture and women in general in the Middle East. While I must do more research on the customs and traditions in Abu Dhabi and in the Middle East in general (no spoiler-plot line deals with Samantha's sexuality being offensive. Shocker.) It even sets the stage for a third film, though there are murmurs that Kim Cattral (Samantha) refuses to play the role ever again. Even if they stop at the sequel, it was a perfect, fun-filled ending to the iconic television/movie/brand.
      *** I KNOW you will check out the film, so PLEASE comment on your thoughts as I would love to discuss!!! I plan to post a detailed review on Sunday night but didn't want to spoil it for everyone until then! Also, if you're as large of a fan as I, pick up a copy of The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell  (Sex And The City creator/authoress).
It's Carrie's coming-of-age tale as she navigates senior year of High School. TOO CUTE!! Copped it!! With that, enjoy the SATC2 movie weekend, enjoy your sistah girlfriends, and drink (responsibly) plenty of cosmopolitans in honor of my FAVORITE series!!!***

Peace,

Dawnavette

Venus' T&A Takes Over Tennis Tournament-Not The Best Look!!

             Venus Williams, tennis phenom, businesswoman, and spokesperson, shocked fans, critics and well... everyone, when she played in Sunday's tournament in this revealing outfit at the French Open. *Raises fingers to the temple* Now. I'm all about making a fashion statement, even the most avantgarde  of dress has its place and my support. Venus claims that she was trying to "distract" her opponent Patty Schnider (mission accomplished). Venus won 6-3,6-3 in the first round. However. I have (2) issues with the crimes of fashion committed here.
    The first is that Venus designed this tacky, ill-flattering, material-mishmash! She proudly takes responsibility for the design, fit, and even (especially, sadly) the flesh-toned sport shorts beneath. Chile, the idea to create a lace tennis dress is a cheesy aim at overt sexuality and attention. Seriously?? Average female tennis players, Buffy in the Hamptons per example, likely do not wish to be sexy  sporty, skillful, and sweaty and definitely don't want to mix lace with athletic fibers while on the court.
    The second reason I've issues with Venus' choice of tournament wear is because it is grossly inappropriate?!?! She is the second-greatest tennis champion in the world! Do any of her professional colleges dress like that? No?? So we can asses that her skanky skirt all was not the daum norm. WHY on earth would she want to be immediately viewed in a sexual light, her talent forced to take a backseat-if only for a moment- as she is judged by her gratuitous clothing?? Is it not enough to be a global brand for athletic excellence, have countless honors and awards, hold records and continue your reign as the best in your field? No, she prefers to cling to the stereotype of "Jezebel", opting to sell aspects of her sexuality in what would seem a desperate manor.
     Being more conscientious of non-offensive fashion choices for tournaments, would serve her clothing business better in the long run as more could relate to her as a global brand...but that would be too much like right. If more women were comfortable in their awesome feminine power, there wouldn't be so many examples (Venus) of falling back on the tried-and-true imaging constructs (sexual deviant, Jezebel, "Temptress", etc.) Less aiming to appeal to the sexual approvals ofmen and more confidence being our awesome-selvs without a sexual stigma.

Peace,

Dawnvette

If You Missed Grey's-You Missed LIFE, NEW HAZIQ VIDEO!!!

GREY'S ANATOMY-THE BEST SCRIPTED SHOW ON TELEVISION-

Last night the entire WORLD was watching abc's Grey's Anatomy for the season 6 Season Finale 2-hour episode. I'm not forming my opinion just because I'm a HUGE Grey's fan (Shonda is my writing ICON)... but this was the best. episode. EVER!!!! It had everything including drama, violence, and love, but kept the audience on the edge-of-their seats the entire time!!!! The writing-excellent. The acting-Emmy Award winning. There were about 10 different plots that all worked together brilliantly! None of my favorite characters died, but there were a few surprising turns from new characters that I cant' wait to see more of next season!! I can't rave enough!!!!!!!

(Cutie to the right is my Dream man-seriously- Actor Jesse Williams *Pause to catch my breath* out of his scrubs)

**Senior blogger John Kubicek from Buddy.tv pointed out (excellently) at least 10 major points as to why last night was the BEST ever, but here are my top 4:

1. Meredth Loves the Chief-from the excitement then loss over her pregnancy, quietly yet painfully watching her man take a bullet, knocking out BFF Yang to save her man, and operating on her nemisis while her man is being saved... Meredith proved finally that she is hopelessly devoted to her husband Dr. Shepard. LOVED it.
2. Operating Room/Shooter Scene- When Owen smoothly transitioned into the OR where the audience sees Yang operating at gunpoint- I know the whole nation was like ERR?!?! WhattheJOEJACKSONHELL did we miss?!?! But alas... that was just EXCELLENT writing!!
3. April the Intern-from her stumbling over her best friend's bloody body in the first 20 min. to her Emmy-award worthy freak-outs, stammers, and shock moments... she just became a new favorite character of mine last night. Awesome job!!
4. Baleigh's Breakdowns- Baleigh's line, "WHAT is that in my eye?! There's water in my eye?!?" as she's operating under the worst conditions and begins to break down... was the best. I teared up. It set the tone for the entire episode... life's hard, but you have to keep operating in spite of the tears!

Thankfully everyone that I wanted to survive did... and well... let me know what you think of the episode- Watch the FULL SEASON FINALE Here and your thoughts for next season.

NEW VIDEO: Artist HazIQ

-Artist (with real messaging & intelligent presentation) HaZiQ debuted his first video-soon to air on MTV2- from his debut project. The video combines two of his singles, "Freedom" then seques to "Hussla" and the release party/showcase held at SLICE in Atlanta on Wednesday night, was a HUGE success!!!! Standing room only! Check out the video, support the movement of good music. For more HaziQ check his blogspot.

With that, I'm going to enjoy this Friday rain!

Peace,

Dawnavette

Sex Sells & Pays Well If You're A White Female & On Tape...

*Blogging. Consistantly... this is a concept that is lost with yours truly though I really wish I could be GREAT!! The last week since my birthday I was reaching out for aid to revamp the site (Dawnavette.com) and I blogged not a letter?!?! *GASP* The two readers I had have probably put me down in exile... but I swear I want to be a better writer... so I will press on, in spite of my diminished audience and inconsistant blogging past. (PAST people!!)* Anywho: Let's GET IT!!!

Kendra "Suffering" a la Kim Kardashian Sex Tape

The hot tea today was that E!'s girl (yours & mine too) Kendra Wilkinson will get a cut of the profits from the release of her much publicized and soon-to-be-released sex tape. That's right. The same sex tape that Kendra publicly argued against the release of for several weeks... as now she is a "wife" & "mother". *le sigh* No longer longer a Playmate, Kendra Wilkinson's celebrity began whilst she dated Hugh Hefner and starred as one of his (3) "Girls Next Door" on the wildly popular hit-E! Network reality show. Fast Forward several seasons, a marraige to NFL-er Hank Basket, another E! reality show and a new baby; single-sex tape Kendra is not the same woman. Allgedly her ex boyfriend Justin Frye (who was promoting the tapes release) legally sold the tape(s) for $100,000.00. Kendra negotiated her payment and will receive up to half of the profits from tape distribution. That equates to millions of dollars as the owner of Vivid Video Steven Hirsch (Same company responsible for such sex tape/smut hits as Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian & Mindy McCreey) says Kendra's tape will be one of the best-selling of all time. WOW Craig. WOW.
Poor Hank and Hank Jr. At least the family will be paid, which is a great distraction from shame and moral embarassment. I love Kendra's bubbly personality and the fact that she LUVS Black culture (or at least her commercial interpretation of our culture) and the fact she's BFF with (willing to P-Pop in public for) Too-Short. This story gets a WhattheJoeJacksonHell because there are countless whiteheaux that have catapulted their sexcapades (on film) into multi-million dollar empires... but I draw a blank at one Black woman?!?! Seriously: if a Black female crosses into sex tape category, she's labeld a "Ho" and considered as valuable as throwback Jerseys from '98-'02. Not even Supahead has had the branding sucess of Queen Kim Kardashian (almost insulting comparrison) It seems that Black female sexploitation doesn't sell as white female sexploits do, and that... is the real head scratcher.

Peace,

Dawnavette

GO, GO SHAWTY-IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!! 4 Points of Twenty-Sexxxy

  Every year, if blessed to make it one mo' gin, individuals grow excited to celebrate (our ) birthdays!! The one day of the year others are forced to acknowledge your older age, give gifts (optional), but generally everyone supports the day, designated as "yours" for birthday shenanigans. Today is my day!! I'm blessed to turn another twenty-sexxxy (yea RIGHT I'll tell you how quickly I'm decaying) and I'm playing it rather low key. No trips, mega-parties or...well...some of you know it can go DOWN. I'm reflecting and trying to "get my life together" at the moment. In the last year or so I've been struggling to understand and navigate the many pitfalls and life lessons they call "your twenties". More shocking shenanigans than world-domination, there are four initiatives aimed to improve the quality of life I wish to try starting...today. Who's coming with me??

1. "30 Before 30"
Under the influence and example of my bestie Claytus* I created a master list of things I wish to accomplish, places I want to travel, and experiences I wish to have before I turn the big 3-0!! What are the many things you wish to tackle before a major milestone in your life?? See your vision, write it down, make it plain! Now's the time...

2. "Call Me Yogi The Bear"

When I was in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico w. Dr. DD* last month, we met a man who read our palms. Now, he was prolly just a drunken old man in love with some chocolate American young ladies, but he swore I'd live a long time, have poor luck with men (he advised I shouldn't be bothered with searching the man will find ME), and in the meantime should focus on ruling the world... and yoga. ERR?? Funny thing is...I LOVE YOGA!!! I wish I was more disciplined and skilled. Now opposed to wishing, I'm getting more active. We'll see the results of my yoga dedication if I look 25 at 30. #Hmmmmm

3. "Finding MY Secret"

The major lessons I've tried to master in the last few years are patience, gratitude, and purpose. Clearly I've not the fame nor career success I've envisioned I would at this stage in life, but I have so much to be thankful for nonetheless. I tend to rush, covet other lifestyles or demand the blessings of others when I've no clue as to what they have to do to secure that blessing. Wrong. I should graciously appreciate all life has to show, even during the "slow" points. I've yet to master "Staying in MY lane". Two of my FAV LS's* suggested I get familiar with "The Secret", and use the principals to grant me peace.  If I watch VH1-I can try the methods of "The Secret".

4. "Reading Is Essential To My Soul"
I used to be a voracious reader-knocking out 3-4 books a week! I dunno what happened, turning 21, college or reality TV (I blame all), I have dramatically slowed down. The last period I would devour books was Graduate school, and as I know most words to simple commercial rap songs on the radio, the LEAST I could do is devote more energy into expanding my mind with quality literature! A lady can't take over the world if she's uneducated (wink)! SO: I've resolved to cut back on the #WhattheJoeJacksonHell Television programming and read more! I'm even starting a book cipher on this site, right at this moment Craig!! Every moth (30 days) a book will be selected for reading and discussion, just like a normal book club. We can meet in Atlanta, but extend the discussion to the site or Twitter-still must iron out the details. The first book selected, is "If It Takes A Village, Build One" by Malaak Compton-Rock. All about service, ways to identify how you wish to serve and an interactive service guide, what a nice way to begin the Book cipher (a self gratifying hobby) by learning more about helping others. Malaak's example and work through her organizations inspire me and I hope it does the same for others.
*Please feel free to offer up additional names for the Book cipher, and books to read for the month. It's no fun when the homies can't have none! I can't wait to have discussion!!

So, in closing, remember to be thankful everyday, no matter how bad it seems. Trust. I know bad. But you don't have to be here, everyday is a blessing, and some one's hurting worse than you. There's always tomorrow to try and be better, do better, and get it right!! Love ya'll, and stay blessed!!

Peace,

Dawnavette